So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
