Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
