just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
