So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I had to cum in my sink.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
