Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
