Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
