all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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