With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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