Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
