yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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