You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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