...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
