Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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