thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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