Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye

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(917): View more from New York City

She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.

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(818): View more from California

I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit

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(310): View more from California

Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.

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