we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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