loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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