Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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