I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dick very happy bro
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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