I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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