would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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