how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
