i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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