i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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