dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
