glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
