Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
