taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
