Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
