just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
