just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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