People with herpes should wear stickers.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
