you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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