Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's rum buckets o'clock
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
