Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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