i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
