apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
