Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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