so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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