is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
