Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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