Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
