margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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