so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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