is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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