So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
