Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
