i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
