What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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