Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
