he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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