also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
